...Still i'm dying with every step I take"

-on hiatus-

I don't have a camera, so I don't see the point on posting here, if photography is all I want to do.
I'll be back when I have one,
Or not.

Like Coco Chanel once said “Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.”

A year of crashed dreams and lost hopes
a year of neverending fairytales that lead to dark disasters,
a year of everything I never wanted and at the same time needed,
a year of good intentions and missunderstood complains.
The year of night, the year of clarity, the year of cleansing.

That's how I would like to call 2008.
I've been through dark, rough spots in life, but nothing really prepared me for 2008.
This year has been a complete and uther disaster, it was just an accident after another, after another, after another.
I'd never been so lost and scared in my life, NEVER EVER had I felt so desperate and dead inside.
And at the same time, I'd never been so alive and awake.
I feel like it's time for a reborn, like this whole stage of my life has only been to prepare myself for something bigger and better.
Who knows, maybe I'm wrong, but you know what...maybe I'm not wrong.

I've been waiting for a big brake to happen for me, like this big chance to finally get some aknowledgment, and give me a chance to finally shine,
but I'm tired of waiting and trying, I'm tired of waiting for a divine intervention or something that will fall from the sky,
I'll just stop trying and start making things happen. That's how it is.
I know I've said several times that people shouldn't wait for a new year to start making changes in their lives, but this time I feel like I really needed 2008 to end and leave everything that hurts me behind.

Lost friendships, old tastes, bad thoughts, negativity, pointless drama, and in some sort of way, immaturity.
I need to leave all that behind; I need to strip myself from all that, and purge everything that my body and mind has been rejecting.

I could call this a selfdiscovery, but I know exactly who I am, I'm Chris and I'm fucking amazing in so many ways.
Call this egocentrism, call it narcissism, call it whatever you like.
I call this a complete stop of being a fucking idiotic disaster and start believing in myself and my power to make things happen.

2009 is not a year of changes, fights or reflection, its a year of actions; of taking a stand and win battles.
It's the year in which I can be everything I want to be, it's the year I'll start being free and stop complaining.
Yeah this is a year for me, and for me only.
There's no turning back from here, either you join me or get left behind.
This is the year to give MYSELF a fucking brake, and I will...in fact I am.

People I love/admire:

A glass shatered and scatered on the floor,
getting down, always looking for more,
trying to look for the missing piece,
trying to look for the missing peace.

The broken remnants of perfection,
the least desirable connection,
bringing to life the puppets of my mind,
bringing to life the puppets I left behind.

The ultimate sacrifice of lust,
the last piece covered in dust,
picking up my last chance to live,
picking up my last chance to give.

Mistakes pretending to be lessons learned,
all the memories and moments burned,
Telling the spirits the unspeakable lies,
Telling the spirits about the unreachable skies.

Yeah I needed to let some steam out.

Again people I love/admire:





I'm sorry if I forgot any :/

Changes.
Is the main word to describe all that I've been through lately.
I've been pushed to my boundaries and I realized those boundaries didn't actually exist and that I could go further, life and art wise.
I've realized that I wanted so bad to stand out, that I was spoiling my chances and I started to be like everybody else (ew). But you know what? not any more. :]
I've reached a place in my life in which I'm confortably unconfortable, I'm always evolving and it's stupid and pointless to think that one day my mind will settle down and give me a rest.
I'm more than willing to spend my life tired but full of rainbows, bunnies, hello kittie necklaces, ice cream, cupcakes, candy and unforgetable moments.
Like I said in one of my blogs on ms, baby I'm on fire and I'm here to stay, either you like it or not.
:]


Thanks to all these people for their friendship/support/advices and for sharing their wonderful art with me.

I havent updated this in a while, so today I said why not?!
Anyway, I'll be uploading some work I did with my analog camara (after I "digitalize" the pictures, some poetry and some more digital work (wallpapers, logos and stuff). And I really hope you'll like them. :]
The reason I stoped uploading pictures is coz, well...they're not that good, I mean quality wise, and I definitly cannot compete against some of the people in here, so I'll just wait until I get a new camera (which I hope will, soon).

Thnx to all the people that has been watching and commenting you're all awesome, you guys are the ones that make me want to continue.

Besides the things I post here (poetry, photography, digital stuff) I also make music, so don't hesitate on visiting my projects here:
URBAN SYMPHONY:
[link]
people say it's dead, but they don't know what we've been working on, it's still only one song, but maybe you'll like it.
Chris Leo Music:
[link]
If you like techno/industrial (as commonly known), and bands like dawn of ashes and psyclon nine, you'll like this project. It's more like a "vent all what's wrong in your soul" kinda project, we all need one of those. haha.

So anyway that's all I wanted to say. Hope you like my recent works and don't hesitate on starting a conversation with me, add me on myspace, or talk to me on msn, kthnx lol

------------------------------------------------
DA friends/thnx to these people/some inspiration
(no particular order)
------------------------------------------------